You Know You are in Texas in July When…

Again, something forwarded from a friend…

  • The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
  • The trees are whistling for the dogs.
  • The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
  • Hot water now comes out of BOTH taps.
  • You can make sun tea instantly.
  • You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
  • The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
  • You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steal your car.
  • You discover that you can get sunburnt through your car window.
  • You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
  • You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30a.m.
  • Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”
  • You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
  • Those potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and serve.
  • Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
  • The cows are giving evaporated milk.
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